[tip: look in the second row for link] Kinda counterproductive to be hung like a zoo animal, yet never able to find a girl that can handle 50% of your moose leg. Perhaps it's that time to trade Tinder for farmersonly.com?
Refreshing to see tourism is still booming for our brothers below the equator. Now lets go ahead and get these gentleman under contract for the Ghostbusters reboot. I'm seeing 103 inches of Oscar winners here.
Gut instinct tells me that thing is about as real as Papa John's promise to not give you diarrhea. The penis large enough to need it's own pair of Air Jordans may be bogus, but the guy being virtually cucked by it isn't HAHA
Becky gets the frappuccinos fucked out of her, generating one throbbing orgasm after another. I'm guessing the end result isn't too aesthetically pleasing. An hour of this is how things end up on the Arby's value menu.
How many times have I said "mother of fuckin' AC Fucking Slater, this dude's custard cannon weighs more than her entire body" ? Sixty four. How many times did I actually mean it in the literal sense? Zero. UNTIL NOW.
This is ridiculous. Not lol-ridiculous like a chunk of society identifying as non-binary lesbian attack helicopters. She has zero reaction to being gutted like a sturgeon, and I keep waiting for David Attenborough's explanation.
Meet your new idol. Probably seen more STD's than a Sudanese prostitute on holiday, and yet still manages to slay pussy with ease. Don't be fooled by the bend in his waffle dolphin: That's The Tickler, and the hired help LOVE it.
Who? Alina West. The only pornstar I remember by name. Why? Cute, low-maintenance, & if you uppercut her cervix just right, she develops a speech impediment like Stan's twat of a sister on South Park. #FAPGASM.
She literally can't stick to a consistent emotion for more than 2 seconds before turning 180° and going the opposite way. It's a serious condition. Us folks in the pharmaceutical industry call it Hyper Bipolar Cuntiosis.
Son of a bitch has a kielbasa the size of my forearm. He should spend less time penetrating, and more time dominating. I'm talking blunt force trauma, BLM style. It would triple the entertainment value of the movement.
A democratic acquaintance at Chipotle has long told me African American men and white cops simply don't get along. After seeing Tyrone Kobe Jermaine Javarie get bullied into BBW twat, I understand why.
I've never seen this chick cave before, no matter how big the cock. It's as if her vaginal canal is made of Teflon, with more square footage than James Van Deer Beek's forehead. But after seeing this, I'm not so sure.
You ever actually make it to the end of Alien 3 and see the stomach-bursting scene? Me neither. But if they ever made an XXX spinoff with a black gentleman hung like Samuel L. Jackson, it might look something like this.
Who the fuck did evolution have in mind when it gifted this vagrant the dimensions of a pool cue? I don't know, but it probably needs more than 3-pack of Colt 45 and beagle ears for tits to take him on @ full power.
Personal gifts are a welcomed sight on Inhumanity, but this particular plug isn't about the ham flaps. It's about capacity. Her wizard sleeve goes deeper than Inception fan fiction, and you can officially color me IMPRESSED.
Every good movie deserves a sequel, and many moons ago we discovered a girl that has less tolerance for raw beef products than a level 5 vegan. Probably all an act, but the hole-to-hole acrobatics is worth the followup.
The 3rd Olsen sister's sexual sideshow derails after the Mr. makes an unexpected visit to her rectocele. Let's just say dude needs to be running the Kentucky Derby, or her V-walls have the durability of Chinese airbags.
Meet Summer. Seen porn more than once? Then you already know her. This is the Betamax of big cock vids. What you don't know is the man behind it. John D aka guy who dethroned Tony Little on my list of heroes. RIP.
Symptom #23 that you live in a trailer park: you're face-to-head with 9 1/2 inches of Nigeria's finest and rather than redirecting said erection to a more suitable orifice, you eat that shit up like a 2 for 1 RC Cola sale.
5:35 is the mark. He starts off strong, only to have his erection look like something off the Wienerschnitzel menu. And yet he presses on, braving the vagina that literally turned his cocoa puff into the number seven.
Pegleg McGreggor is packing enough meat to start a slaughterhouse. Naturally his first course of action is to find the nearest Asian female and attempt snicker bar seppuku. Me thinks he was responsible for this as well.
Tupac loads up his Indominus Rex and lays waste to an orifice that's seen more wide load traffic than the GW Bridge. Better yet: Ever set off an M-80 in a zucchini? That's the kind of labia majora we're dealing with here.
Meet Bree Olson: O.G. p-star gone average YouTuber, and afrocock aficionado. She wasn't the type to run from a challenge, even when Jarquerius and Tyshawn attempted to tag-team her ass into early retirement.